Sunday, January 10, 2010
Updates~
So far so good.. Think my body is okie now. Just that i cant eat too much/ too little.. Must really watch out my diet~
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Poor Baby is sick AGAIN! She is even sicker than the last time she was hospitalized! :( Cough, Ear&throat inflammation, Cold, On-going fever... Very very Serious! Look @ her:
No more smiles...She was nt like tt last time:
Poor baby! Hope she will get well soon!
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Saw a colleague's blog who describe me like this:
[Long post - cos i do not want to cut anything off]
"This week, I had the opportunity of having lunch with a girl I got to know for only a few days now. You know, cheerful and bubbly people is kinda weird for me sometime. I remember that one lunch MarChe said, "So being gay (= happy) is a bad thing for you?" :D Well perhaps because I am so subdued so the level of energy that these people project sometime are just so overwhelming for me.
Anyway so when this girl asked me for lunch, it did feel weird (since I have only spoken a few words with her) but I went anyway because she is so sweet, funny, and friendly. So this girl is 22 right and I felt that man this girl is so fresh! She being from NUS as well, I even feel that she's like the perfect poster girl for NUS. I have to say that she is so articulate and kinda wise (or perhaps naive which I will discuss later) that it's like a totally different type of species from the other early twenties that I have the opportunity of getting to know.
She has a certain maturity that's kinda almost frightening for me. Perhaps since she is also able to point out my negativity spot on *sigh* I was wondering if it's the 5 years difference between me and her that makes us see things differently. She's like so positive, the type of person who speaks about reaching the top of the mountain, flying to the moon, and reaching to the dreams that we all have. She's the "yes we can" in Obama land.
The difference between us in seeing things kinda make me wonder what is it that 'cause us to have different feel of life. I wonder if it's just her who still has the naivety about how things work or it's me being already broken with failures in life in the 5 years of life that I have that she doesn't. It sure is good to be able to feel positive like her and I know I was once that girl as well. I was once the girl who climbed mountain (not literally) and felt like soaring to the sky. Something has changed dramatically in me. It's kinda easy isn't it to talk about reaching out to the sky when you are on top?
But when you have fallen many times when you climb a mountain, when you realize that you are not even climbing the mountain that you want, somehow those failures have damaged me quite badly. Sometime I think I am a brilliant person who should be achieving more, but most of the time I feel I am not good enough and to feel you are inadequate is so limiting. It's the dark hole I am in and regardless of what people analyze it to be, I have been in this dark hole way longer than many people think *sigh* and you know sometime I just wish people would stop telling me how wrong I have been about this whole thing and instead tell me that things will be alright *sigh*"
It is really weird seeing ppl describe you so vividly - as if you do not exist. Bt hey~ how well do they know you? That's definitely not the full picture of who i am.
Everyone have their own story. How do they know, I have not been thru the hard way of life? Maturity comes with a price. Naivety comes from optimism - the push to survive. Life goes on no matter you like it or not. If it does, why not be happy?
Only remember those things that makes you happy. Forget those that makes you sad becomes my way to life. So many things out there you cant control.
Let go~ Pretending that you are another person will be much easier & happier than be who you are... sometimes...
Let go~ Pretending that you are another person will be much easier & happier than be who you are... sometimes...
